Today marks the start of a new journey for me....looking for a fresh new beginning with my relationship with God.
Though I know it wont be easy, I know it is what I have to do.
I have been so confused about my feelings towards him and at this retreat I went to called Haven of Hope I found it...
Although I believe in him,and Love him I lost trust in him.
I trusted he would let her live,I trusted he would heal her,and when he didnt I lost trust in him.Yes I know that sounds bad but its true.
So opening my bible was not possible because i opened it before and found hope in his word that Nevaeh would live.And when she died I didnt see a purpose in trusting his word. I know now that one step at a time and one word at a time I will find it again.
but i have to want it,and I do want it.With all my heart I want it.
I dont look fo rhealing in the sence of losing my daughter I look for it in the sence of healing my trust in the Lord.