I see her everywhere....

I can see her everywhere and in everything...
in the movies i watch,in the stores i go,in the children i see,in the voices I hear...
shes always there...
I see her in the skies,in the clouds shapes and colors,i see her in the wildflowers that grow profusely in the fields,i see her in the butterflies that visit her garden,I see her in the laughter of her brothers....
Shes always there....
I went to open house for the boys yesterday,she should of been there...she would of been in 2nd grade...and would of had a great teacher.
It hurt to not see her name...it hurt to not have her there...
When the boys got home they watched a movie and my oldest son grabbed her picture from the piano and put it on the couch as if she were sitting there with them watching the movie....
I see her in the words that I speak, in the songs that I hear, in the beauty of my mind...
Yesterday I got a call from LLS(leukemia &lymphoma society) I do alot of fundraising for them and have always dreamed of working there...The call was a job offer! I was so excited! I thought how proud she would be of me for working there,for wanting to help make a difference,for wanting to help fight for the cause...I accepted and am more than thrilled about it all! In the back of this excitement I think,if only I could of made a difference for her...if only's run through my head all day long...but seem to be not so often.
Honestly I can see her all over this opportunity....
I will make her proud!
I miss her so very much and would trade all this to have her back....but i know it wont happen this side of heaven ...heaven cant come soon enough.