PAINFUL HOLIDAYS

Its almost Christmas....and it hurts so bad that she is not here...it feels empty,sad and quiet. Noone in the house is in the holiday spirit. Not that we havent tried because we really have, we bought a tree...its still not decorated. We didnt buy gifts,not that I didnt try.It was one emotional visit to the store after another. But dont worry the kids will get lots like they do every Christmas.
Oh how I miss my Nevaeh...how i miss her running through the house,giggling and singing. Being her cherrful self,annoying Mateo while he plays video games,making us eat all her "food" made out of Play-doh. Making "coffee" for her daddy with her tea cups.
I miss her silly faces,oh man did she have some silly faces. I miss her fast sassy comebacks and the way she looked at you like you were stupid when you tried to show her how to do something. cause of course she was princess Nevaeh and could do everything perfect. That was my spunky girl.
I try to not think anymore about the why's and the what if's. I try to think if the impact she made on others and all she is still doing....
I am trying to look at Christmas for what it is,The day Jesus was born...not about presents,or decorations,just the day Christ was born...and thats good enough for me.

I hope that everyone that reads this has a sweet Christmas.....